Hello, and thank you so much for joining me today. Yes, thank you for having me. I'm so excited to learn more. So there is a lot going on in your chart. And I don't mean to say that to alarm you. There's a lot going on in everyone's chart. Everyone has their own unique chart and the way their houses are laid out. But for you, you are actually my ideal client because you are a black moon Lilith rising. Did you know that prior to the call? Well, I knew that I had it in the first house, but Yeah, I wasn't with the true, I didn't realize just how much I was a black moon Lilith rising. Yes. For everyone listening, Amy originally thought that she was a black moon Lilith in Libra, which of course is the case if we take a look at the mean calculation. But when we take a look at the true calculation, which I prefer to use for natal charts, you are a true black moon Lilith in Virgo. And that's forming an almost exact connection with your ascendant. It's about five degrees away. So when you walk into a room, Black Moon Lilith is very present in your personality and how you show up and the themes that are in her myth of power struggles between the masculine and feminine, objectification, misogyny, and really needing to reclaim one's own power to really fight through those forces in your life. is a constant theme in your life. So does that ring true for you? Absolutely. All right. So everyone let's dive into Amy's chart. I'm actually going to add her specific chart to the stage. If you don't mind, Amy, we're going to be open and transparent on this podcast episode. All right, so as you can see here, you are a Virgo rising. So Virgo is a mutable earth sign and it's ruled by the planet Mercury. And Mercury is all about communication, but Virgo is more the analytical side of communication versus when we think of Gemini, the other sign that's associated with Mercury. It's more about the social side and the buzzy local, like going from place to place side. It's an air sign. Virgo is more of the serious side of Mercury. It's more of the astute and practical and really it can be self-deprecating at times. So you've got Virgo ascendant and your ascendant is not only how you show up when you first enter into a room and your personality and how people perceive you. It also is the lens that you view the world through and And it's also how your early environment may have formed your opinion of yourself. So when you have black moon Lilith, literally five degrees away from your ascendant, it's conjunct your ascendant, your black moon Lilith rising and the archetype of Lilith shows up in the room. So you're talking to someone who also is a black moon Lilith rising. And I wrote this book Black Moon Lilith Rising and this podcast is really all about people like you who may be experiencing these things from the outside world and they really don't know why and how to alchemize them and turn them into their superpower. So the thing with Black Moon Lilith and Virgo, there can be a lot of emphasis on not only self-deprecation because of maybe how you grew up as a child and what you experienced from your direct family unit, But it also can affect how you feel about yourself, your self-esteem. And you can get into analysis paralysis. So it's kind of like where you may overanalyze something so much because you're used to being overly critiqued by other people, so much that it stops you from doing certain things in your life or launching that brand. As we read in your description for your reading, it's you really want to be an entrepreneur, but sometimes Black Moon Lilith in Virgo can stop you from doing these things because you're too hard on yourself. Black Moon Lilith in Virgo on more of a darker end of the manifestation, I wrote about this in the book, it can really take a toll on your physical health. Sometimes Trigger warning for those listening. It can lead to some eating disorders or challenges with food and feeling like you are never enough and that you're not perfect enough. And this all can really lead to delaying certain things from happening in your life. Does that ring true for you, Amy? Yeah, absolutely. I Just like even right now, I'm like, oh, are my eyes watering? I'm being recorded. So it's just like adding that layer of, you know, always kind of thinking about how I'm being perceived, my physical appearance. Yeah. And the thing is with the way that Black Malilith manifests is it's not only the difficulties you can experience or the darker aspects that you can experience of the placement, but it's also about how you can use those experiences to actually make it your superpower. Like when we take a look at the other side of Virgo, so let's put aside the over analysis and the self-deprecation, Virgo is... a powerhouse when it comes to practicality, when it comes to writing and articulation, when it comes to accuracy and channeling that perfectionism in a way that is of service to other people is something that is extremely powerful for Virgo. And I also read that you are a healer as well yourself. Virgos are natural healers, Virgo risings especially. They're natural healers. Whether it's, let's take archetypally, it could be plant medicine or working with the earth. It's an earth sign. And Virgo rules the variation that exists within plants and animals on this planet. But this also can be healing others through what you have experienced yourself and becoming that vessel to bring forth knowledge that can really transform people and quote unquote perfect them. So have you felt that some of these traits of your black wound Lilith have really stopped you from growing in your business and growing in your practice? Absolutely. I definitely feel like I do get too overly critical, like even doing something like this, you know, I feel like sometimes I don't fully embrace the whole experience because the moment, um, doing it i just start over analyzing and you know definitely with putting content out because everything's online now it can be where you know i don't get a response i'm just like oh my gosh like everyone hates me they're all waiting to criticize me Well, I don't want to say like it's all in your head because I think sometimes like in the spiritual space, people can be like, well, if you're thinking it, you're manifesting it because that's not always the case. I think we live in a very judgmental society in general and especially judgmental towards women. And I've felt quite literally what you're saying is. doing what I'm doing now and building my own business. I've literally went through those same thought processes because that's how we're conditioned. That's like the TV that we watched when we were children. We're around the same age. We're millennials. I mean, you can even take a look at the show Quiet on the Set about Nickelodeon. I'm sure you watched Nickelodeon. Oh, yes. And I watched the documentary, too. Okay. So all of that energy was channeled into us as we were kids. I think that like in general, our surroundings and our media really did shape a lot of the self-deprecation that we can have as adults, especially as women. Like we're always constantly judged. But all that aside to say that those feelings are normal when you're doing something so public. And you're really being honest and bearing your soul. But the way to kind of push past that is to post it. is to do it. I mean, just before I got on today, I I'm at the point where I'm like, these are my channels. If you're being, unless it's Goodreads or reviews that I have no control over and it's your right to have your opinion, but when they're my channels, I'm going to moderate and you're gone if you're abusing me or harassing me. And some woman, like I did a whole video on Leo Rising on my YouTube channel. A woman just literally was like, oh, I fell asleep after the first five minutes because of the intro. Meanwhile, there's a plethora of people saying, oh, this really helped me. This is really great. And I'm just like, some people are just mean. And judgmental. And especially when you're a black woman with rising, what you do actually can trigger them and it can be triggering and like, oh, they have something that I don't have. So let me just take a big dump on what they're doing. So you have to build up a thick skin. And so sometimes it's just posting it and doing it. and allowing the shit to, to stir and dealing with your own emotions around the shit that comes up because it then lets you grow thicker skin. So then you're actually able to reach the people that it's going to affect in a positive way. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, absolutely. That makes a lot of sense. So it's kind of like push through the pain type of. I mean, I don't mean to sound so severe with it, but it's basically that's what I've had to do to really get out of my own way when it comes to. posting because now as spiritual teachers in 2024 that's how we really reach our clients is through the internet and unfortunately it's gonna go in front of people that may not resonate with your message and you have to be okay with that yeah absolutely and I think that you know that's the biggest thing for me is that I do feel like at the end of the day I always do push through because I want Like there is a part of me that's so afraid to be seen and ridiculed and criticized, but then the stronger part is like, I need to be authentic. I need someone to see this message, right? You know, it needs to be there. Then that means that's what it means. So it's also, when you think of it in that perspective, it takes the, self-deprecation out of it because it's like it's not about me it's it's actually about the person receiving this so it takes that okay well you can say what you want about me it's really it's not about you it's not about me it's about x person other person that may be watching it and it's too afraid to comment or too afraid to say anything but it's actually helping them So it's taking yourself out of the equation that I think also helps in situations like this. So I pulled a couple cards from the Black Moon Lilith Oracle. You can see back here. But the first card that came up is Black Moon Lilith in Aquarius. And the message is honoring your individuality. So placement aside, this is not the placement that you have in your chart. Of course, these are Oracle cards. And... I created the Black Moon Lilith in Aquarius card as an ode to someone who is afraid of their unique individuality, what they have to bring to the collective, and someone who is really here to assist the collective, but they allow other people's opinions of them to delay it or get in the way. So it's time to let go of that. It's time to let go of that. And we pulled the Eve card, Divine Feminine Awakening. So I know you inquired a bit about partnership, relationships, and you can feel like you're a lot on the demonizing end of things. We all know the story of Adam and Eve. I mean, it went... not the same as Lilith, but similar. It ended in the demonization of the feminine. But when we take a look at the Eve story allegorically, it really is about how the divine feminine has been put here because we are here to awaken the collective. We are the portal, whether or not we have children, we have the ability to do it. We are the portal between the spiritual realm and the physical realm. And so once you step into your individuality, you can assist. Oh, I'm getting chills actually right now. I think I'm on track, but you're here to assist with this divine feminine awakening. I wrote about this in the book that as we enter into Pluto and Aquarius, it's time for the divine feminine to wake up. And I, I don't, I didn't take a long look at your content, but do you center your content towards the divine feminine and helping assist the divine feminine to wake up to their power? I think a lot I do, it's not always intentional. I feel like most of, a lot of what I know is very personal and it's, you know, my experience, which I definitely feel, is a lot of that is just, you know, and I feel like in relationships, I am always looking for like that protector and, you know, someone who's going to give me some sort of stability. And that's just something that I haven't found, or I get people who come in and they will just outright lie or tell me, you know, strategically get past all of my boundaries and then You know, it's just they'll abandon me or, you know, not do what they said they would do. So a lot of what comes out of me creatively is just, like, my disappointment and anger toward that. Mm-hmm. So I also pulled Blackman, Lilith, and Sagittarius, and it says free yourself. And for some reason, Britney Spears, she's a Blackman, Lilith, and Sag placement. Britney Spears is popping into my head. I don't know if there's any significance to you or if you have read about her story or know about her story or if you listen to her music at all. But she is someone, like quite literally, that keeps happening to her. Like, I mean, we see it. We've seen the media. It happened with her father. And then it bled over into her love life that literally she keeps marrying these people who don't protect her, that don't truly care for her. All they're after is her divine feminine essence, which includes money. But she's like a divine feminine goddess where it's like she's able to make millions literally by being โ a queen, but the energy is siphoned by the masculine in her life. And she's basically tied up. So this is saying to free yourself from that need. But you don't attract any kind of partner wanting the stability from them. So you have to be in that space yourself. Because we attract who we are. And I don't want to come off like I'm blaming you for what you've attracted because I've been in horrible relationships. And then it's like 50-50 2020 is hindsight. Like you take a look at it, it's like, oh, this is what I didn't like about myself. Or this is what I allowed this person to do to me. this is what i needed to wake up to and unfortunately for brittany she wasn't able to see after k-fed oh that's why i brought in this leech because my dad was a leech so why don't i stop accepting leeches in my life and repeating it she's not doing that so what i want for you is to kind of take a look at like i can see like your relationship with your father. So let's go back into the chart. Cause I'm feeling going into the father stuff. That's all right with you, but we've got, uh, Sagittarius on your IC and that represents the father in your chart. And the ruler of this is Jupiter, right? And Jupiter is in its fall position with Mars and the moon in your ninth house. So collectively, this can really represent conflict with the father. It can restrict your growth. It feels like you can't really have an honest conversation. Gemini, the energy of Gemini, it's like when we have the debility there, we've got Mars, this is a malefic. There can be some lying and lack of truth. So a lot of these things can bleed over into the partners that we choose because we're like programmed. I'm going back again to like childhood. We're programmed to think that that's okay. And so we're really channeling it into our reality right now. And then I'm looking at your relationship house. You've got Pisces there, which Jupiter also is the ruler of Pisces. Okay. So it's like you're bringing in your father and these are men, correct? I don't want to be presumptuous. Yes. Okay. So you're bringing in your father and the men that you have been with in your adulthood. And another thing I want to point out as well, you've got your beautiful Pisces son with an amazing Venus in Pisces in your relationship house. Yes. And Venus is exalted in the sign of Pisces. Venus loves to be there, but Venus in Pisces can also be a bit, they can kind of put their partners on too high of a pedestal and be overly romanced and kind of have an illusion about what a person's about and they can easily be fooled. They can be naive because they really want to believe in that romance story. They want to believe like, you know, Disney fairy tales. But at the end of the day, we also have to use our, our intellect and use our thought. Like, is this person exhibiting similar signs as what I grew up with? And what did I, what did, what happened back then? that could be repeating itself, like when you're in the dating phase or you're in the phase of just talking to someone before you even commit or even join forces with them, are there red flags that my Venus in Pisces is kind of just like, oh, well, I'm going to ignore that. Oh, I'm going to ignore that. Okay, I'm going to ignore that. And you've got your north node there. It's close. It's coming from the sixth house. And you've got Mercury, right? in Pisces and Mercury is in its fall position. It does not feel comfortable there as well too. So that is also adding a layer of the, dishonesty and the illusion that can come up when not only you are partnered in love relationships, but when it comes to your work. So we've got sixth house stuff as well there too. Cause I know you'd mentioned challenges with superiors and bosses and in your workplace and, with feeling devalued, this is also bleeding over into there as well too. And sixth house and seventh house are both, seventh house is like work contracts and work partnerships, like very long-term serious ones. And sixth house is like service. It's like the workplace. It's the work that we do every day. So you've just got a lot going on there that really can scream like you can attract people you can create, but you've also got to keep your feet on the ground. You got to be realistic about these people. Like, um, don't go too far, uh, into the, paranoia. Like me, I'm a Scorpio and my Mercury's in Scorpio and I'm paranoid of everybody. I'm like, what? Okay. Well, sizing you up, like, well, what do you, what, what's the tea? Like what's underneath? So sometimes you might have to channel that and be like, okay, not everyone is truly here for me. There may be a hidden agenda. How can I really be real and go with my intuition? And if I see a red flag, not romanticize it, really sit with myself and be like, you know what? I provide my own security. I the stability that I want, whether it's just emotionally. And I'm looking for someone who can match that. It's not, oh, I'm like, you mentioned a quote that you're happy to be chosen. And that's not, no. They should be happy to be in your space, right? Yeah. And I feel like even though I know that it's still, I have found myself falling into that pattern again and again, because I just, I do romanticize people and I do. And I think it is just, I mean, what you said about the father that rings very true. And it kind of plays into my Black Moon Lilith a lot as well, because that's really the first man who like criticized my weight and my body, like still to this day. And So it's, you know, I do feel like it's like I'm always searching for this foundation for people that are going to accept me as I am. And not only do I not find it, but then even when I get into the spiritual community, I've even had friends I've made, you know, kind of tell me what you said of like, oh, well, you're like manifesting this or, you know, just kind of like disregarding my whole experience as that's not valid or it's not really happening or, you know, there's something you could do to change it. And I'm like, I don't know what I can do to change the fact that I walk into a room and people are disgusted by my body. And some tell me straight out that, you know, that's not something that I can control in a healthy way. I mean, I have, and I've lived on both sides too because I did lose weight. And then that was my first relationship my first and most serious significant relationship was with someone who right away was like, Oh, you just recently lost like 80 pounds that like, just don't gain it back. And then I spent, you know, years in that relationship, like making sure I didn't. And so I think that that's just, that's been really hard to have people always be like, Oh no, like that's, something you can fix. And I'm like, no, that's an issue in the world that I want to help. I won't, but you know, it is a dark thing that a lot of people don't want to talk about or even hear about. Yeah, I completely agree. I don't want to bypass your experience at all because the thing is with our early experiences as children and our chart and say your Black Moon Lilith Rising, which is quite literally what you're saying here with health and your weight and self-image, these are other people doing this. You're a child. Yeah. You're a child. It's something you can't control. And your chart is your chart. Like, so there's some people in the school of manifestation who are like, oh, astrology. Well, you can control your fate. It's not real. And it's like, there's shit in your chart that you're born with that starts from day one that you have no control over and you can't change. The thing is, is how do we mentally and physically control Yeah. Yeah. So that's what I'm saying here is it's like now that we're adults and we can gain that control over our own lives. We're not stuck with our parents. We're not stuck. We don't have to be stuck in these situations. It's now, am I going to choose to love myself in the face of other people saying I'm unlovable? Am I going to choose to literally just... I am lovable. I am, it doesn't matter what weight I am. I can be this weight and I'm, I'm still me and I can be this weight and I'm still me. So it's like, and then I know it's so challenging. Cause I mean, we all can like have those days where it's just like the world is like dumping on us quite literally black woman with risings. It's like, I've, I've had those days where it's like, I'm like, this person said this. Cause you know, I'm, I'm, They're not taking me seriously in business because of how I look or this person isn't taking me seriously because they think I'm 15 years younger. It's like imposter syndrome that I have all the time, but I have to sit with myself in those moments and be like, Am I going to let someone else dictate my life? Am I going to let the outside world make me dim my own light? That's just not doing a service to the collective because the collective needs what I have to say. The collective needs what you have to say. So I think that those... friends or the people that are telling you that they're not true friends. Um, and I think that, and I don't want you to be like, Oh, I got to go out and find my tribe. I got to go find people. It's now time to do the inner work where you don't need that. You don't need the validation. And I think sometimes the universe will remove validation from you so that you can actually love yourself and be okay with yourself and, in order to serve others and to do what you do and to give readings and to be in that empowered space. It's not about what other people think of you in this life. It's really not. And I think that that's a lie that we're all told by media and how we are supposed to look and how we're supposed to dress as women. But at the end of the day, it's about what's in here and how you feel about yourself. So I know it's easier said than done, best believe, but it's really a mindset thing. And it's not for us to transform our reality. Like it's going to magically change assholes around us. It's about us so we can elevate our lives. So it's like, okay, just thinking about myself for a moment, you know, like I get told, you know, I'm not enough. You know, I'm just a black girl. Like no one's going to listen to what I have to say, but I'm like, yeah, they fucking are. And the right ones are going to gravitate and actually listen to what I have to say. And the rest of you can go off. Like, honestly, you can really go somewhere because it's not about them. It's not about them. I wanted to ask, was the past relationship, were they a different culture than you? No. They're from like the same town? Well, they were from, I'm from Pennsylvania and they were from Michigan. So they were like coming through my town to work on the pipeline, which also was like being from a small town, just something that, you know, everybody talked about too. They're like, oh my gosh, she's like with this worker coming through town, but then, you know, I definitely feel like that relationship, I moved across the country with that person, but there was a lot of drug addiction and on their part and yeah, just really not a big part of my life. It was not a very positive experience. So I'm just pointing at your relationship house again. And with that sun Venus conjunction, it's important to be aware of attracting people like that who like to escape and rely on substances. So that's just one note that I definitely want to give with that. And you can spot them from mile away. And those types of people can be very, like, they can romance you with words. But then there's always, of course, they have those daggers there that are not loving. So. Yeah. And I definitely feel like, I mean, I've grown so much, like, ending that relationship, allowed yourself. Like not even just allowed yourself, like begged to be disrespected. It was like, please like stay with me. So yeah, that was definitely a negative experience. And I feel like it's one that's kind of repeated for me, but now I like notice it sooner. So it's like every time I notice it a little bit sooner, but it still is the repeating. We've got that. This is where we've got to go back to before any other man comes into your life. we've got to dig into here because you never, never beg, never. And I'm not saying, I'm not trying to like come down on you for doing that. We've all been in horrible positions and horrible relationships. But I think looking at that as like a learning lesson, like never, never, because that then sets you up to be devalued. And I think this kind of goes along with your work as well, because like I mentioned, the seventh house has to do with love, but it also has to do with significant business partnerships and contracts. And you've got Venus there. Venus represents value. And if you don't value yourself, they're going to see ways that they can kind of skirt by. And if you don't have boundaries, Pisces... in that area of your life, boundaries can be a challenge because you want, you want to be chosen, but it's like, you have to choose yourself first. I know it's easier said than done again. I know like we need money. We need, we need certain things in our lives. So sometimes it's hard to say no, but every single time in my life that I was like, Oh no, I'm not doing that. Or no, you can't have that. Or yeah, this isn't working. The universe always brings something like with a quickness right after. Always, always. It's like, I mean, it's like clockwork because the universe is waiting for you. to step up and to actually take that action that is saying that this $50, I wouldn't get out of bed for $50. The universe is like, okay, we got to rejigger because clearly she is not on the $50 train. Like she's on the $400 train. And now we've got to conspire and sometimes it may take a little time because i gotta put this person here and i gotta put this person here and then i gotta fly you here in order for you to meet that person to then meet that person and then the opportunity comes or you see something online and you know it triggers you oh let me apply to that or let me respond to that and then that triggers that better opportunity so it's patience and it's time but it's like with manifestation it's not just about like my thoughts and my feelings It's also the actions that you take and the contracts that you sign in the ethers, what you are agreeing to that then cultivates our reality. And I know it's really challenging because at the end of the day, we're in a society that they take cash. But the thing is, is the people that are coming to your life devaluing you, they need to know that too. The society takes cash and you need to fucking pay and Because my gifts are, and my time is valuable. And when you come with that energy, say you enter into the next psychic shop and you're like, oh, I would love to be a reader here. And the person starts with the valuing shit. Like, okay, well, you know, my prices are this. This is how I work. Here's my business card. And, you know, definitely contact me if you end up meeting someone in the future. Thanks so much. Glad to meet you. And you walk out. And that person will end up thinking like, oh, wow, okay, this person must be like on some shit. And then a couple of weeks later, it might be like, okay, let me give her a call. Like I'll give her what she wants. Or the person might not do it and the universe is like, okay, well, we need to give her something. So let's pop a social post in her feed and have her reply to this so that โ You know, you're leveling up so that you can work from home and get paid double that and not even have to leave your house and get to serve people and help in that capacity. Is that all making sense for you? Yeah, definitely. A hundred percent. And, you know, I do think most recently what happened is I ended up being basically forced to come back home, which was like, to me, the worst nightmare I could have ever asked for. But I definitely feel like a lot of what you shared about my chart, I came back here to really see it again, to be like, now that you've healed so many aspects of yourself, putting you back in this situation, it's definitely really hard and really emotional. But at the same time, I feel like it is forcing me to feel those things and heal those things So that wherever I go next after this, you know, I can break some of those patterns and cycles. Yeah. And I see that in your chart as well. So we went over a little bit with the father, but the mother as well. Like I said, you have Mercury in its fall position and its stability in Pisces. That's the mother in your chart. And it's actually in your sixth house, which not only is work, but it's health. and um mercury is all about communication so you it's really interesting that you said your mother also verbally told you just horrible things about your weight and your health um so it's like it's she's in your head still yeah so it's like you're constantly it's like it's conjunct your north node so it's creating what i call the karmic loop of where that then ties you up in your straight up life path of spirituality and service to others. So it ties you up from feeling like you're enough and kind of binds you. And you're kind of like just stuck in that loop of like, okay, I'm going to help people. I'm doing it. And then it's like, you're not enough. It's like playing in the background. So I think Obviously, I don't know your parents personally and always be safe in certain situations, but I would tell her about herself. If that's comfortable enough for you. I think that would be a healing thing to do while you're home. In some capacity, of course, I don't want you to challenge your current living situation. Maybe this is something better to do when you leave the home. And maybe just really focus on, okay, let me like clock the nasty things she's saying. Write them down. And then I'm going to rewrite the story. Like literally write them down in a journal. Like today she called me this. Today she said that. How is that not true? And then rewrite those things back to yourself, but twist them into a positive. Like, wow, I was looking so beautiful today. And wow, I love the way I looked in this shirt today. I look so fabulous. And really start to do that inner work. And it sucks having to do it in a hostile environment, but start to do the inner work yourself privately. That actually may be a better way. And then when you get out of the situation, because I think you are going to, you can tell her about herself. Yeah. And I feel like I do have a pretty, I mean, I, I tell her a lot, you know, even before I came home, I would, but I definitely think, you know, with that relationship, I feel like I'm very detached from like her judgments emotionally, just because I totally understand exactly where it's coming from, not to make an excuse to for the behavior, but I know that she struggles with her own addictions and things like that. So usually the things that she will say to me comes from me challenging her and she'll be like, well, what about you? Don't you think you ought to lose some weight? Interesting that, wow. Very it's yes. It's very interesting that it's like, this is the mother and it's just like, she's in her own loop as well. And she's, he's trying to come at it from a place of trying to help you, but it's like, uh, misery loves company. But that's what also is delaying you in terms of your life path. So I think taking this, the rest of this year to do that work, I think is going to really benefit you for when the nodes, you're going to be going through your, let me look at the transits here. So we're going to get into, let's see, I want to look at, so you're going to be going through your nodal return soon. So right now we're in the Aries Libra axis. So, you know, and I'm sure you've read all about the eclipses that we're having and the nodes, but you're going to be going through your nodal return. And let me find the exact dates for you. Oh, So early 2025, so around February, that is when the nodes are going to switch. And of course, it's going to be later than that. It's an 18-month cycle, but... That's when I think things are really going to transform and change for you in a positive way. And you're really going to step into that life path with the Pisces. It's a beautiful access to have a north and south node. That is the north and south node of a healer. When you have the north node pointed towards the sign of Pisces, it is all about, and especially in the sixth house, healing others, service towards others through spirituality. But it's like you've got to release that self-deprecation. We've got the Virgo South node. We've got to release the negative self-talk. We've got to release the hyper-perfectionism of oneself and not thinking that your body is good enough and not thinking that you're good enough. You've got to release that. And then also I think you can also be of service to others who are going through the same thing. We are all going through that, right? Like I've been told I'm fat by family members. Like it's like every, every, especially women, like we're constantly told we're fat every freaking day, like all the time. Like whether even, or we're told we're too skinny or we're told we need to gain some weight or like you can see on like the rags, like the celebrity gossip, there's just always, they're posting no makeup pics of people. They're talking about, well, you know, Sharon Stone got wrinkles now, you know, or, Oh, JLo looks like shit. And it's like horrible. And we've, we're taught that this is okay. And it's really not. So I think that there's an opportunity. Um, and I don't want to say body positive because I feel like that term has been so overused and now it's like that, that, yeah, I won't get into that, but I think that there is some sort of angle you could take, um, in terms of helping, um, people who have gone through the same exact thing. Yeah, definitely. And I definitely find that, you know, I feel like I can help other people in one-on-one. And that's why I think online has been hard because when I work with someone one-on-one, I know that I can, you know, really dig into what they're going through. And I tend to attract people who have, you know, went through certain things that I've went through. So I know that that's very true, but then just doing that on a greater scale to reach everyone, that's been a bit of a challenge, but yeah. I think you should talk about what you've gone through. So you've got Chiron and cancer in the 10th house. And your Mercury in Pisces is the ruler of your Midheaven. So I think, like, I had to bear all and write some things in my book that weren't necessarily more comfortable for me to write about myself. I'm an extremely private person, but I think that getting real in your content and talking about what you went through can really attract even more people. Yeah, I think, I guess one thing, I feel like I don't have a problem being very real, but for me more of the problem is I kind of, I don't know, I felt like, do I need to write a book or something that will be respected more? Because I do feel like sometimes I just kind of emotionally, like it's been hard for me to navigate before I was trying to build a business online where online was just like my diary for my friends and I was always putting everything all my feelings emotions poetry writing songs putting all of that out where now it feels more vulnerable before I felt like I had no I didn't really have a problem with that because I didn't really care what people thought but now I'm like okay is this not caring what people think the thing that's keeping my work from being valued or, you know, cause it seems like sometimes I would put something out and I'll like lose followers instead of, you know, getting positive engagement. And so I've just kind of been thinking, well, maybe it's not because I give so much vulnerability that maybe there needs to be some sort of I feel like that's where I'm at, where it's like just figuring out what type of barrier I need to, you know, put so that I'm getting something for what I'm giving instead of just giving everything and then just feeling really exposed and vulnerable, but not really getting the response from it. Mm-hmm. So what I'm hearing is, and don't take this the wrong way, but what I'm hearing is, is you're looking for validation from your friends and people you know. Not so much validation, but more like just like growing my, more like, I feel like my friends, the friends, few friends that I do have, yeah, they definitely would validate me, but it's more like from a business aspect of like, I need, money to pay my bills and parents house and it's like you know finding some sort of boundary so i'm not like giving everything away for free like should i write a book that people have to buy if they want to access my story instead of just anyone being able to access everything that i that i do So I think I'm just hearing a couple of things. So it's, I'll address, yeah, I'll address it in parts. So first with just social media, I think that like one thing that's challenging is if we are, we have our friends as followers, we have family as followers and people that we know they are not our clientele. They're not our clientele. They can be there to support, but I think they may cause you to dim down what you're saying or feel more judged if you're not getting likes or if you're not getting comments from them. So I think if that's a challenge, I think starting a completely new page and honing in on one message, one thing, and really starting from scratch where they don't even need to know that you have it. They don't even need to know. They don't need to be following it. This is about you attracting the specific clientele that will benefit from your message. So two, with the book, I don't ever suggest someone writing a book because they want to feel legitimized because it is hard. It is really tough. I mean, yeah, I can go on. It's not easy. it's not fun. It's, it's, it's a lot and you should write it because you love it and you want to get all of your work down on paper so that you can be of service. So if you come at it from that angle, I think that may feel more empowering to you than, okay, I should write a book because I'll be considered valid. Um, That's then going back into that self-talk of like, I need to be chosen. You should come with it more like, okay, well, I've got all these thoughts. I've got this idea. I've got this story. I want to get it down. I'm going to write a proposal. So first it's like you have to write a proposal if you do want to get published by a publisher. But if you want to self-publish, you can literally sit down and just start writing it. And there's so many avenues you can take with that. and then just in terms of like putting everything out there for free or allowing other people to find it for free, there is a way to do that. Like there's a reason why, like I started a little astrology in 2019 and really putting all the content out there. I actually never make every single post about Lilith. If any of you notice, a lot of it is like general astrology stuff. I'll throw in stuff here and there, but I don't give away the farm. in my content but i want to provide enough value for people so that they don't have to pay like they can feel like okay i'm getting some benefit from adam and if they feel inspired to purchase something from me that's great so there's a way to kind of Put out content that has to do with the genre that you want to write about, but not give away every single thing that you're going to write in your book. And then in terms of messaging, customers can, and my marketing background is now kicking in. I've worked professionally in it for a decade. You want to hone your message. I know you mentioned you were talking about poetry and other things, and there's a lot mixed in with the content. I think you should sit down and think about who, who am I speaking to? Like you can literally jot this down on a, on a Microsoft word document. Who am I speaking to? What is my message? Like for me, it hit me on the head that Lilith and the dark feminine is my, that's, that's my work. That's the message that I want to portray, but I don't, veer too far off course on my channels from it because people can get confused. And if you want to attract that right clientele, there needs to be repetition because another thing too is the algorithms are horrific. The algorithms are not good. And if you're talking about poetry one day and then you're reeling in something else in another topic, the algorithm gets confused and then it's going to dilute what you're trying to do. Is that Helpful. Hope I answered all of your questions. No, definitely very helpful. Thank you. So it's like honing your message in, like if friends and family are, if even if it's subconsciously kind of limiting what you're talking about subconsciously, like you don't feel like you can truly be yourself or you post something and you're like, oh, only five of them liked my post or only five are engaging. It's time to eliminate them. and start a new Amy, whatever, whatever you're talking about, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, start it over. And then also think about another thing too, when I know I have multiple social media channels and sometimes I'm just like, this is too much even for me. But when you're also a solopreneur, picking a channel, picking one that you really like and just doing that. So if you want to be able to speak longer, you like to really have in-depth conversations, you don't want to have to deal with engaging with other people, maybe a podcast and just doing that. Because the algorithm pushes out your podcast on Spotify and these other networks, and you do have to put out content, you do have to hone your message, and you do have to keep it in one lane. But that's a great way to just... start to have your value driven content out there. If it's you like to be on camera, you like to talk about trending topics pertaining to the genre that you like, TikTok, well, it's here. Maybe the best channel for you or IG Reels or something like that. But just because other people are doing a social media network doesn't mean that you have to do it. Like, it doesn't mean that it's like, it's resonating with you. So I think it's also like, you want to also go into doing social media or a book or content with love. Like, okay, I'm doing this because I love it. And it lights me up. Like, oh my God, I can't wait to get up and like... right away, you know, and, and, or create, create the outline for my podcast or research guests to have on my pocket. Like, it makes me so happy doing this versus like, uh, I got a post on IG. Oh, how do I look? Cause some it's, it may not be the best network for you. So really think about like, what network do I really love and what is going to light me up every day doing this for free? Because you're going to be doing it for free for a while as you're, you're building up your clientele and you can plug your readings in that specific channel and in that content and you can do it organically. Yeah. Yeah. So just a few more things before we close out our session. I pulled a few more cards and this time from the Rider-Waite deck. I'm sure all of you know that if you're into tarot. But we've got the two of coins. So this is the state that you are in right now. You're like, what do I want to do with my life? Where am I going? You said you're at home right now. And you're feeling like money also, like just feeling financially tied and kind of financially unable to move. We've got the queen of swords here. This might be mom. This might be who you're living with. But then this also is the energy that I would like for you to embody while you are here. And it's kind of like what I was talking about. Like tell, just, you know, tell them off. Like say what's on your mind. This is like a quick tongue. This is the queen of speaking her truth. Like this, like a search, like, oh, you, you think I'm fat? Well, shut up. I'm not. Who are you? Why don't you go take a look in the mirror? Are you so perfect? Like say it back to people, give it back. And that'll just empower you so much. And that's, I think that a big difference when you're using your black moon with rising, like, do you think Lilith is going to walk into a space and allow people to call her any, like, Go look in the bathroom, sis, and go look at yourself. And then you can come and tell me anything. Or whatever man's doing that, why don't you go look at your bank account? And then you can tell me what I look like and whatever. Whatever. So this is the energy that I would love for you to step into, but I think you are going to as you are in this space. And then we've got the three of wands. So I'm also feeling this because you're going to be going through your Jupiter return the second half of this year. So in May, it's like beginning of May, Jupiter moves into Gemini. And that's your natal sign. And you've got Jupiter in the ninth house. You're not supposed to be living in your hometown. You're not supposed to be dealing with narrow-minded people who think narrow-minded things and dating people of the same culture, right? your, your, your person is not here. Your person's not in your immediate surrounding. Like, let me just remind you of your chart here. The ruler of your partnership house, your marriage house is Jupiter. And it's in your ninth house. So I mean, you know, That's not someone that's supposed to be like in your locality. But I also think that it could be second half of this year you'll be traveling. But I think that this is the next phase after you get out of your immediate surroundings. But I think also this Jupiter in Gemini energy is also kind of coming face to face with that father energy and really transforming that. in a positive way, going through some personal growth. And it may be some truthful conversations where you're going to pull out that sword and be like, listen, have you looked in the mirror, dad? Because most of the time when there's people who are spewing that shit at us, they can't look at themselves. They feel horrible about themselves. So it's like when you give it right back, it's like, you're causing them to also self-reflect as well. And they eventually be too scared to say anything to you. Be like, I'm not saying anything to you. She's too empowered now. She's not like cowering corner like, oh, you said that about me. It's like, shut up. Look at yourself. Yes. And I think that that's the biggest message that I needed because I think it's definitely... that's where I struggle. Like I can tell my mom all day. And actually it's funny because my mom, you know, you you're against the patriarchy, but you never stand up to your dad. And I'm like, well, he screams and yells and makes me cry. And so I definitely feel like that's, that's my hard, the hardest, um, person to be honest with I a lot of times would rather just not talk so I feel like when you brought up about the dishonesty in my placements that really resonated for me with that I've never Well, my Sag, I see like, I had to get out of town. I had to get away to find my truth because it was never safe for me to live it there. And I could never, and I've always just not been honest with my dad, not like outright lying, but it's just like, I'm not going to tell you what's really going on in my life because if I did, you would judge it and even potentially get extremely angry and I don't know what the result of that anger would be. Well, always be, you know, safe and make sure you're in a safe space to pull out the sword when, when you're saying that as well, like definitely make sure with that. But it's, it's interesting that he's the Jupiter conjunct Mars and, So it's like the explosive, like it can be very challenging. And it's really like unlearning that patriarchal programming, a fear of the masculine in your life. And Black Moon Lilith Risings, it's like we, there's always some power struggle between the masculine and feminine that we are always working through because we experienced that or saw that. in our parental dynamics. So it really imprints on us and we have to really unlearn patriarchal programming around it. So definitely make sure you're in a safe space. I'm a big proponent of that. I don't want you to endure any type of violence at all. And it could be when you get the hell out of there. Or you make peace with that in yourself. And you don't even need to say anything to him about it. But when you're dealing with others in your life. Changing that programming of like, okay, if there's a man speaking and you can't say anything or, you know, shut down or it's now empowering yourself in those situations. And so I pulled a couple more cards. I really wanted to wrap this up on a different note. So we've got temperance and temperance is actually the Sagittarius card. So this is even, and this is also patience as well. So I think that's also what's needed during this transitional time for you is patience, but knowing that there is some growth coming ahead. So we've got the 10 of pentacles and I love this as two little dogs. And there's a two people here that I'm loving. Um, but I think with patience, um, We're going to get to that space that you'll have more than just like two coins to rub together. It's also like you're going to be able to cultivate from that space. So I think using this time as like a gift and really thinking about, even though it might not feel like it, it's a kind of a gift in like a little way. muddy of a wrapping. It's like, okay, I have this time to really think internally about behaviors that I can change, ways that I can react to the outside world differently, and how I can really narrow down and hone my message and my business and how I want to serve other people without not having boundaries and not advocating for my value and my worth. So I definitely see a lot of, I think some breakthroughs are coming ahead for you and I think you're in a fabulous place right now. Even though it might not feel like it, it always gets better. Yes, thank you. And that temperance part has been following me around a lot lately too, so. Yeah. It's just Jupiter, Jupiter energy. And it's like, I'm feeling this Jupiter return for you this year. It's once every 12 years. So you can think back to 12 years ago and what you experienced then. that was probably like college-y type or after high school-y type of transition. It's like for a lot of us millennials, it was around that time. Yeah, definitely. I remember definitely during that time, I looked back on my Facebook And was like, oh, okay. You went everywhere. I was, you know, going Okay. All right, Amy. Thank you so much. This has been such a fabulous reading. I'm so happy that you're the first client guest on the show. And I would love to have you back again. you know, in the future so that we all can get updated on what's going on and we can have a follow-up reading as well. Well, I would love to, it's been such a pleasure and I'm so grateful to have met you and shared this space. So thank you so much. Yes. Thank you. And thank you everyone for listening. We'll see you on the next one.
